Yes, it really is unfathomable that women might not like having sleazy shit yelled at them by total strangers in public.
not all men are like this
Let's make an analogy. You are driving to your work. Are you going to remember the 250 drivers that drive like a real person, or the half dozen ones that drive like a maniac?
Just because "not all men are like this", this should be in your best interest to correct the ones who ARE because they affect how the world view the ones who AREN'T.
No… it really ISN’T our job to “correct” the jerkwads. And their actions should have absolutely NO bearing on the “rest of us.” When you judge an entire group based on the extremes, your perception is ALWAYS going to be wrong.
Now, with that said, I don’t see how this comic is painting all men in a bad light. It’s reflecting the reality of what a woman has to deal with… because yes, it does happen, and it shouldn’t.
Congratulations, Nibel. You’ve just justified racism.
Please direct me as to where the comic implies that they are?
Yeah, but it's the 98% of us that are bad apples the make the rest of us look bad.
it doesn’t say all men are like this. It is just showing an example of the shit we have to put up with, sometimes on a daily basis! I can tell you that when I went out by myself or with female friends I received daily catcalls. When I go out with my boyfriend-Nothing… Not all men are like this I know, but I can tell you that the ones that are are really ruining it for the rest of us and saying you want no involvement is part of the reason this shit continues. We should all be standing up to assholes who harass.
I think your comic is the best webcomic I've seen in a while. It sees into my soul and then makes comics about it.
Even bad apples can be used to make good Compote!
Devil's advocate: if it was women complimenting the guy, odds are he wouldn't mind.
The implied argument being that "if you're complimented by someone you could be attracted to, why would you mind?". Of course, it's always the best choice not being a creep.
The difference being that men *aren't* constantly subjected to street harrassment like this, so that comparison doens't work, as a hypothetical man being catcalled by hypothetical women doesn't live in the same world the actual-woman does, where 1 in 5 (or more) women are raped, where catcalling is constant, and they have to walk a very fine tightrope between "prudish" and "asking for it."
So, no, just flipping the genders doesn't actually negate this.
Fun times being able to reply.
I'm a pretty fit guy, I've been to places and festivals where if I have my shirt off I've been essentially cat-called constantly. It's fucking horribly unpleasant. I'm really uncomfortable the whole time, it's generally fucking rude and creepy. Guys comment on it too.
You smile and awkwardly laugh and try to joke about it while shuffling away.
"Well you should just wear a shirt then!" – Yeah. I do. That's my solution. That's the only solution. It is not pleasant. ( It's not a big deal, I move on with my life the rest of the time but I'm clearly a bit frustrated with how misunderstood this is, especially when any male-perspective is dismissed because "humble-brag".)
Also: I don't see comments like "I wanna fuck your mouth" or "Want some dick?" as compliments. Because, you know, they aren't.
>implying all men are attracted to women.
There’s also a difference in that women are far more easily overpowered by men than men are by women…making most men a tangible threat to women, and women rarely being a tangible threat to men.
This made me laugh so hard lol.
This made my day.
This is much bigger than ”a few bad apples.
One in 12 male students surveyed had committed acts that met the legal definition of rape.
16 percent of male students who had committed rape took part in episodes with more than one attackers.
33 percent of males surveyed said that they would commit rape if they could escape detection.
25 percent of men surveyed believed that rape was acceptable if the woman asks the man out, the man pays for the date or the woman goes back to the man's room after the date.
While it doesn't make the rest of those things right at all, I do want point out that the first point rhere is kind of ambiguous. "Things that meet the legal definition of rape" is a bit of a broad net to cast. Sleep with a 16 year old who used a fake ID to get into a club and told you she was 22? Rape. Have a few drinks with your girlfriend and go back to your house for a night of passionate lovemaking? Technically rape for both of you were both drunk so you couldn't really give consent.
Even that second one could be a little ambiguous. Get a bunch of people together specially to have a few drinks and take part in an orgy? Rape all around.
The 'facts' presented on this page are totally disingenuous. First off, the page making the claim is using multiple sources and cherry-picking statistics. In all the studies the number of people surveyed is tiny, usually less than 50. They are all self-selected (they want to take part, usually because they have strong feelings about the subject). Note that in the 'facts' listed one group of men surveyed are rapists (16 percent of male students who had committed rape…) Are these the same males who said that they would commit another rape if they thought they could get away with it? Surveying men already convicted of sex offences is a typical ruse used to inflate the figures and come up with startling statistics. When the 'facts' are reported they are just referred to as 'males surveyed'.
In many of the studies rape is bundled in with 'unwanted sexual contact' which includes catcalling but also times when a woman has had sex with her partner when they didn't really feel like it but did so any way to please them. Some studies even asked the participants if they ever felt that if they all out refused to have sex at all their partners would leave them. Anyone who answered yes was another tick in the 'pressured into having sex' box. When the 'facts' end up on, what are typically recruiting posters for women's group, everything is usually merged under the label rape.
Finally, many of these studies do not distinguish between acting experiencing something and believing something to be the case. So a group of college girls, all the studies are carried out in colleges, will be asked if they know someone, or have been close to someone, who has been a victim of rape. If there has been a rape on campus, or there are rumours of one, all the girls that have heard about it will answer yes. So if 22 women are surveyed and 11 reply that they have been close to someone who was raped, the statistic is reported as 50 percent of women surveyed know someone who is a victim of rape.
Perhaps, just perhaps, you shouldn’t use a thoroughly refuted and absolutely horrendous (from a statisticians view on the methods and tiny portion of people they used) “survey” in declaring the vast majority of men to be rapists or potential rapists.
It’s just as pathetic as using the 1-in-5 (oh sorry, it’s now 1-in-4) rape lie that was thoroughly refuted as well.
Perhaps you should focus on the 40% of domestic violence offenders being women against men. Or that women rape men around 30% of the time, with homosexual rape (including women on women) making around 15%, leaving 45% of rapists to be women.
“B-but it’s different…”
That’s the point. It’s not. It’s almost split half and half and yet you’re here declaring the overwhelming vast majority of men to be rapists or potential rapists of an extremely small proportion of people who are raped in our populations.
So the issue isn’t men. It’s people like you who pull this bullshit and who lobby the FBI to remove gender neutral rape language so that they don’t include female on male rape by defining rape solely as insertion of a penis or object into another.
So painful. So true.
I gotta say wow with all the comments the character received, she never responded to any of them. She could of made the best of it ,but she chose to go home, be depressed, and all alone….. Must not be an adventurous woman.
Uh… How can one be adventurous with someone harassing them. That stuff is scary. Not a single one of those panels shows a situation where any person, male or female, could respond without potentially exacerbating the situation. This isn't a representation of all men, rather examples of why cat calling isn't ok. And the panels show the male putting himself in the position of the female to see what she sees.
how can you make the best of this? adventurous is not usually a trait I put with women/men who indulge their attackers and do not feel threatened by them… fucking hell the fact that you read this comment and thought that… I just can’t even comprehend the ignorance…
This is f***ing bullsh*t. Woman catcalling man =/= man catcalling man. The latter makes the man uncomfortable BECAUSE HE's NOT A GAY. Now if it were a woman saying those things in the comic (like it should have been to make sense at all), I would indeed have felt complimented. Dumbass.
Why do you assume he is not gay?
Why would it even matter if he’s gay? These are COMPLETE STRANGERS. It’s scary and creepy.
Your argument is flawed, but I can live with that that’s your problem… But saying “he’s not A gay” I have to hear moronic things like that all the time… Please stop.
I think your comment proves why it is man catcalling man… because men do not experience this daily and because men do not usually feel afraid of being overpowered by a woman or of her raping him if he doesn’t indulge her shitty comments then it has to be a man in this comic doing the catcalling. It is a way of encouraging a man to understand the power dynamic and the unwanted nature of catcalling and why women do not see it as a compliment!
Let’s just a take a moment to appreciate the fact that the artist seems to be approving all kinds of comments and letting us debate in his comment section?
Ok. Carry on.
Finally, someone other than the goddamn penguin realizes how tolerant Tom is with us.
about 10 years ago a bunch of ugly ass women yelled at me all sort of explicit remarks such as “I’ll suck you until you come” and things along that line.
I really wasn’t expecting something like that, I just walked away speechless (and actually a bit scared)
and even having been through this, I still agree that if instead of some freak-show-ugly broads the very same things were yelled by a bunch of beautiful models, my reaction would have been way different.
That day it was clear to me that the difference between harassment and making a compliment is just how hot you are.
Regardless of gender.
actually I think it is the nature of your words… so for instance, hello, I was just wondering if you would like to exchange numbers is not the same as HEY SEXY I WANNA FUCK YOU. It’s about controlling your stupid urge to comment on a persons body and what you want to do to it and treating them as an object rather than a person.
This is great. But here’s something to think about. Say the male harassers here are women. And they yell out comments like these to him instead.
“Ooh baby, that face looks hot enough to sit on!”
“Back that ass over to me, I got just the long toy for you.”
“Mm I’d spread that ass so wide, you’ll love it.”
“You’ll look better down on your knees.”
“It’s a fucking compliment, ugly ass.”
“Come back when you’re finally a man, you little bitch.”
Suddenly it’s not a compliment anymore if these women paying you attention aren’t basically worshipping your penis. It’s not a compliment if they say these kinds of comments that are clearly meant to publicly belittle you as a human being.
Too many times when good-intentioned folks try to switch the roles like this here in this comic, they switch the predators to men to reinforce the assumption that women can’t possibly pose a threat to a man. And when women are used as the offenders towards men in an example, their comments are too innocent and pleasing. The intimidation quality of the cat-calling is forgotten. We shouldn’t approach the sexist problem with more sexism.
In my example, the female predators’ words are more dominant, intimidating and degrading; and less pleasing, worshipping and subservient: now a better point is made. Because we should be honest, cat-callers in the real world aren’t publicly worshipping their targets.
They’re asserting dominance over the other in public. And most, if not all of them already know, and it’s exactly why they do it.
I can see that you’re trying to help the cause, but you’re not helping anyone really if you don’t unlearn your own fair share of internalized misogyny.